personal – Site Title

@ the parents of trans children who compare their child coming out to the death of a child, my mom HAS had TWO children actually die. She says fuck you.

My dysphoria tends to manifest as jealousy. As long as I can remember, I have been incredibly jealous of like, 90′s-00′s Marilyn Manson, Brian Molko, Joey Jordison (def during Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses) and earlier work) and Gerard Way because my ideal self is a dark-haired, ghastly pale, androgynous god.

So I’m trying to get disability (bc lets face it, ya boy here is all sorts of fucked up) and the judge was reading my medical records and then he said “August Black is a paranoid and borderline personality, prone to psychotic episodes” and I’m gonna be real, I wasn’t aware of the paranoid and psychotic shit so I’ve been working through that.

spoiler alert: everyone’s gonna fucking leave you, you are better off alone

my fp just dropped me for no reason, threw me away like trash and tbh I probably deserved it lol so basically my worst fears have been confirmed that everyone I care about will eventually leave me lmao it’s just been a terrific week

kinda wanna end up in the hospital, kinda wanna end up in the morgue

¯_(ツ)_/¯

I’m sad and can’t sleep

As much as I like presenting masculine, I really, really value my androgynous features and I love it when I can’t be pigeonholed. It’s like, what’s my gender? Who fucking cares, I am a terrifying and powerful being,

I just heard someone say “everything is okay” but I’m the only one awake…

I just got a little upset because of some transphobic shit I just read and said I wished I wasn’t trans and my mom said “but then you wouldn’t be you, and I love you”. She’s precious and I love her?????