how am i simultaneously too much and also not enough
Tag: text post
me, cutting myself open and pulling out my organs: god i have to do everything myself around here
*tries to talk to ppl*
brain: you’re talking too much and they hate you for it
*stops talking to ppl*
brain: you’re talking too little and they hate for you it
i’m lonely as hell but am i gonna make any attempts at being social? no
me: is a needy piece of shit who needs constant reassurance and attention from friends
also me: is distant as hell, avoids all social interaction
one of my symptoms I hate most is that I “want” to hurt. I “want” to be
in the worst situations possible. I “want” to sabotage myself. That
means it’s in my impulsive plans, when I’m actually in the situation
it’s not something I want at all. but I desire it as if it’s something
good. and I don’t get why I have that.
op is kinda sensitive so please don’t go off
the thing that always comes to me about the concept of Transtrending is … who even Cares? so what if someone turns out to be happier being cis after trying out different pronouns, different ways of thinking about them selfs or their genders? so what? who did they hurt? if a dfab person tries out they pronouns and asks for gender neutral terminology for a couple months and then says “hm, i think i am actually happiest with she pronouns, i am a cis girl” who did she hurt? she didnt hurt any one she just chilled in a different gender zone for a while.
and then what about someone who did try out different pronouns and then ended up saying “wow! this really works for me, i am so much happier with these new pronouns! i am trans!” ? they couldnt have learned that without experimenting
calling all gender exploration transtrending and acting like its some harmful or appropriative thing discourages people from exploring their genders, reinforces ideas about transness being immutable + A Condition, reinforces the idea of rigid gender roles (by saying like. people arent allowed to consider other genders for themselves in a gentle way / arent allowed to express their gender differently) and makes it way harder to figure out trans stuff bye

im gonna puke blood and then cough up my internal organs. whos with me